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June 29, 2007

13-Year Olds Can Read Our Blog -- If Accompanied By a Parent or Guardian

This is hilarious. I first saw this at Busted Knuckles' place and then on Slog, so I decided to go to the website called What's My Blog Rated? and plug in our URL.These are our results:

Rating: PG-13

This rating was determined based on the presence of the following words:

  • dick (3x)
  • torture (2x)
  • dead (1x)

I'm so relieved to know that teenagers are permitted here, especially since I can't recall ever seeing Lynn use one of The Seven Dirty Words in a post -- or any of the other dozens of dirty words that come to mind in the course of a minute, and that's if I'm thinking very slowly. She is both "cleaner" and less angry than I am.

But isn't it interesting that this rating company considers the Vice President's name to be a really bad word? Can't say I disagree (and, incidentally, I'm sure it's been published here more than 3 times in the past few days). The owners of the company have probably reached the last straw, just like the rest of us, and figure the bastard really deserves to be impeached and convicted after all. (Hey, I'm miffed. How come they didn't nail me for "bastard"? It's become one of my recent favorites.) More interesting, perhaps, is the designation of "torture" as a dirty word. Seeing as how it's the act of committing torture that's so evil, I guess they're on the right track anyway... Still, I'm going to keep writing about it no matter who gets offended, and for sure, that won't be the 13-year olds. Remember, it was the high-schoolers who just told Bush to stop torturing people around the world. They were perfectly comfortable talking about it. It's the knowledge that our government is doing it that offends them, and other humane citizens, to the very core.

As for "dead", well, that would be the Bush presidency. And the neocon agenda. And support for the occupation of Iraq, the national Republican party, the privatization of social security, denial of global warming, acceptance of the worst health care system in the industrialized world, patience for the Bush/dick oil company cronies, tolerance for shredding the Constitution, get-out-of-jail-free cards for criminals like Libby, Abramoff, Cunningham, Doolittle, Safavian, Griles, Delay...

Oy. I feel so dirty.

Update: Well, that was quick. I just went back to the website to see if I could copy the PG-13 movie rating logo over here and it turns out that... we've just been Rated R: No one under 17 allowed unless accompanied by a parent. That's what a few more dirty "bastards" named "dick" intent on "torture" will get you.

Posted by shoephone on June 29, 2007 at 09:48 PM in Media, Miscellany | Permalink


Oh, shoe, expelled from high school at your age? Um, guess you better rewrite the hed (notice my care with that), huh? Mumph mumph mumph.

Update: Oh, those lyinsacksashit! I just tried it myself: clicked on that link, plugged in the URL of this thread, asked for the rating -- eh wahlah, you're back to PG-13, with tsk-tsking as follows:

"This rating was determined based on the presence of the following words: torture (4x) dick (3x) bastard (2x) bastards (1x)"

(Of course, their beady little eyes ain't lit on this comment yet, so things could change AGAIN. Gaw.)

Posted by: lotus | Jun 30, 2007 2:29:08 AM

Mine was rated PG-13, because I keep mentioning "torture" and refuse to call the Vice President by his full given name ("Nosferatu" is just too much to type repeatedly). I notice that it skipped right over two occurances of that synonym for "feces", though (to be fair, one of them was because I was quoting Larry Johnson). I think their obscenity meter is out of calibration.

All the references to warfare and mayhem don't seem to have affected my rating, either.

Posted by: Cujo359 | Jun 30, 2007 12:46:46 PM

I was a mere PG-13, despite my recent evocation (and full spelling-out) of the late Steve Gilliard's credo: FTFY

Instead, they flagged two uses of "death" (in reference to Norm Maleng and Jackie Robinson) and one of "gays" (actually, I quoted Jerry Falwell's horrid 9/11 statement).

Posted by: Neal Traven | Jun 30, 2007 2:47:05 PM

N and Cujo - I can't figure out what their meter catches or why, but I did see that the Slog was rated NC-17 -- not at all surprising. And "gay", which is used in practically every one of their posts, was flagged. So... we can't talk about the things that really matter, like getting rid of torture or securing equal rights for gays, but we can swear up and down a blue streak and they snooze. I'd love to get George Carlin's take on this. I'm sure the Internet Thought Police at the unintelligent intelligence agencies will be keeping tabs.

Curse on, fellow bloggers?

Posted by: shoephone | Jun 30, 2007 4:53:36 PM

This is fun Shoe! I put in a few sites, all R's or PG-13s, but the thing that floored me on one of them was that use of "missionary" was a trigger.

Sometimes the mind hits the gutter in advance of the words.

Posted by: Mary | Jul 2, 2007 2:11:54 PM

I was amazed I wasn't rated X.
Just getting near me is enough for an 'R' rating.

Posted by: Bustednuckles | Jul 3, 2007 7:55:39 AM

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