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August 10, 2007

Seattle's Violence Problem Has Hit the Karaoke Bars!

A woman at the Wallingford bar Changes had, um... a meltdown of sorts when a guy took the karaoke stage to sing Coldplay's "Yellow":

Witnesses said her distaste for Coldplay quickly took a violent turn, and she leaped at the would-be crooner, shouting expletives and telling him that his singing "sucked," while expressing the same opinion of the song, according to a Seattle police report.

She pushed the man and punched him, all in an effort to stop his singing.

Other patrons went to the singer's aid and hauled the 21-year-old woman outside.

"It took three or four of us to hold her down," said Robert Willmette, one of the bartenders at Changes.

Thank goodness she wasn't brandishing a weapon. Seattle has seen so much gun violence in the past few weeks it's started to make me wonder what town I'm actually living in but, considering the city's difficulty to maintain an adequate police force and the brazen in-your-face pimping and drug dealing on our streets, it's not too much of a leap into the Wild West. Where there are drugs, there are often guns. I had the (cough) pleasure of watching a 50-something boomer sucking on his crack pipe as I walked into the 3rd and Union post office at 11:00 a.m. yesterday morning.

The female aggressor at Changes, reportedly, wasn't even drinking alcohol at the bar, so it looks, at first glance, to simply be a matter of fists over falsettos. It's long been my contention that karaoke either brings out the best or the worst in people, but this response to the annoyingly overplayed overplayed overplayed -- sorry was I repeating myself? -- radio hit "Yellow" may be the real canary in the coalmine, if you take my meaning. Maybe it is the final tipping point in Seattle's demise. It ain't like the old days. When my friend Alex and I sang "Ain't No Mountain High Enough" at karaoke a few years ago, the crowd loved his charisma and gave me polite encouragement (I can never seem to get the lyrics in the right order and don't like looking at the prompter). But the overwhelming familiarity of the song that exemplified Motown's dominance in AM radio didn't set the crowd into a raving frenzy.

We got out alive. Someone even bought us a beer.

Coldplay's "Yellow" really IS annoying, for so many reasons, and if that's all it takes anymore to burst the city's nightlife into flames than Mayor Nickels is going to have to reorder all his priorities regarding the city's clubs and bars. I've heard that the Mayor really digs on the smooth-jazz. As much as I can't tolerate Coldplay, I truly fear the day we will all be forced to listen, repeatedly, to the excruciating 1980's hits of bands like Spyro Gyra.

'Cause that's a situation that could really make me go ballistic!

Posted by shoephone on August 10, 2007 at 12:35 AM in Miscellany | Permalink


'I've heard that the Mayor really digs on the smooth-jazz.'

Game over right there, baby. Better put on your Chuck Mangione fez and whip out a little happyface cadenza before some irate ratepayer busts a cap.

Oh yeah, and Coldplay?...Music to bob for apples to, only without the apples.


Posted by: darkblack | Aug 10, 2007 5:57:43 PM

Aren't the lyrics something like:
And they all peed yellow.

And Spyrogyra! I had successfully forgotten them and now they're back in my brain! Damn You!

Seriously, they put the ak in fusak, along with the Yellowjackets...hey, did we miss an obvious pun?

Oh well...

Posted by: SteveAudio | Aug 11, 2007 7:00:32 PM

But Steve, you're talking about the post-Robben Ford Yellowjackets, right??? (Please say you are...) At the risk of betraying my fusion-y roots, I have to say I thought that first album with RF was so great. But I sure haven't listened to them in about the last twenty years.

Sorry about the Spyro Gy- oh never mind.

Posted by: shoephone | Aug 11, 2007 7:29:30 PM

When RF was with them, they had some cred. I mean, all great players, but without an idae excep for RF. After him, well...let's just say that I prefer his solo stuff since then.

Posted by: SteveAudio | Aug 11, 2007 10:59:32 PM

Yellowjackets...The Pablo cruise of fusion.


Posted by: darkblack | Aug 11, 2007 11:44:55 PM

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