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December 31, 2008

Happy New Year Honey

I was going to write a restrospective of 2008 but then I spied the contents of today's Seattle P.I. and started wondering what kind of future our local newspapers are going to have when they're busily fixating on so few topics. The P.I. has four -- yes FOUR -- *separate * articles * on * honey *. Yes, I know about the importance of honeybees. Really, I do. But I was hoping for a last day of the year local read that included a lot more than four articles so curiously similar to each other. Oh well, slow news day. And it gave one reporter four separate stories to file, so he gets a little more cash in pocket for his next mortgage payment.

In the Jewish tradition, the new year is celebrated in the fall. We wish each other "a sweet year" and, to capitalize on that sweetness concept, we eat apples and honey. (No doubt, autumn harvest season is a great time to eat apples.) But maybe we won't be topping them off with honey if this disappearing-bees-and-consumer-ignorance-and-false-labeling-of-organic-honey thing keeps up!

I know I'm supposed to be concerned -- otherwise, why inundate me with four of the same article in the same edition? -- but, when it comes to finding reasons to read a newspaper anymore, I can only conjure up that old Peggy Lee song:

Is that all there is?

Get ready for the Honey Wars of 2009. Did YOU know that this country doesn't actually make strict delineations between organic and non-organic honey? Well? You'd better get hip to that fact, and quick. Sheesh. And you thought the next year would be dominated by stories about job losses, housing woes, the Middle East, oil prices, what the hell our local leaders (we actually have local leaders?) are going to do about replacing the viaduct, and, of course, the historic presidency of Barack Obama. Faggedaboudit. It's the bees, stupid. Four times over.

Happy New Year, Honeys. It's gonna be an interesting one.

Update: Oh my gosh. I'm so embarrassed! There's a FIFTH honey article in today's P.I. How could I have missed that?? And this one is filled with intrigue and skulduggery! Andrew Schneiderman, you are one helluva gumshoe -- and just think, you're going to be able to pay off all your Christmas credit card debt at the end of next month.

Update 2: Honey article number SIX (with information strangely similar to what's in number FIVE). Do you think maybe the P.I. is trying just a little too hard to beat out the Seattle Times and its MRSA articles when the big newsy powers-that-be get together and decide who'll nab the award for Best Local Series of 2008? 'Cuz that's exactly what I think. Weird, I know. 

Posted by shoephone on December 31, 2008 at 12:23 AM in Miscellany | Permalink


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